Writer: Red Army Comrade
Date:Friday July 16 2010
That`s right people, Vital Southampton through our network of stadium tea ladies can EXCLUSIVELY reveal that we are on the verge of signing Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid, and he is believed to be 'excited` at the prospect of playing alongside world class players like Anthony Pulis and Paul Wotton.
What`s so ludicrous about that? Considering every other name has been put into the transfer hat we might as well move up to the next level of pointlessness. Were talking about none other than the great rumour mill that has swept through our club!
The Daily echo were one of the first people to start the rumour mill with a page asking us to email them with any transfer rumours we may have heard, a good idea to spread the possible transfer rumours coming in, but also a license to be completely barking?
According to the Daily Echo there are around 25 players who we COULD be signing though don`t get excited too much, half these rumours put around are of players who we 'want` at the club rather than who`s actually joining, lets not forget that they are all put in by fans.
Half of which either have a network of tea ladies on reconnaissance, or go to the pub with Markus Liebherr for a pint and some Toblerone. Nicolas being normally too busy playing the match predictor and re-enacting scenes from the Godfather of course.
And what`s to stop fans from down the M27 starting a rumour that Dean Windass or Jermaine Wright have been seen outside SMS? (a scary thought I know!) Contrary to popular belief there are people in Portsmouth who have internet and know how to use it!.
With that in mind just remember that rumours are rumours and nothing else, and don`t be too disappointed when the network of tea ladies get Ibrahimovic mixed up with Jose Fonte, or that the guy who everyone thought was Markus Liebherr down the local is indeed some very confused German tourist.
And if you just so happen to hear that we are making a multi million pound move for Augustin Delgado, its origins are probably closer to the other side of Hampshire. I hope so anyway!
Lets not forget that we don`t need Rooney, we have Lambert, we don`t need Terry, we have Fonte who unlike Terry doesn`t sleep with his team mates wife (or so we hope), and who needs Fabregas when we have Pulis!
Date:Friday July 16 2010
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